Happiness
Talked to an old friend who had known what happened to me but only got the chance to say something to me personally last night.
The first thing she said was "You know, Punzi, you deserve to be happy."
I can only agree with half of what that statement implies.
Contrary to what you may be thinking, that statement implies two things, not one:
1. That I deserve to be happy; and
2. That happiness is defined as having someone (albeit a so-called second time)
Readily, I can believe the first statement because everyone deserves to be happy, not only me.
But I cannot believe that happiness can only be defined as having someone.
Don't get me wrong. This may be the formula for happiness for other people. But I refuse to believe that this is the only measure for happiness.
So what is happiness, for me?
Of course, I don't know that for sure.
But I refuse believe it is just having someone, no matter how great the relationship is. In the first place, it's not constant or permanent. It's a journey with highs and lows, a bumpy road filled with potholes, rocks, cracks, hanging over the cliff on either side. It's a balancing act, with a hairline tightrope.
I also believe that I cannot return to that life anymore. And even if I can, I think I don't want to go on that journey again. I've seen what it has done to other people. More importantly, I've been there. I've done that. The costs far outweigh the benefits.
So why not a happiness defined as a dedicated life of service to others and/or to God?
That's equally fulfilling.
What about a fulfilling professional career and family life at the same time? What about a life surrounded by dear family and friends?
That may be the happiness for me.
What about contentment and peace of mind?
I think these are more the brand of happiness for me than what my friend was referring to.
Of course, that's just me. Feel free to disagree.
The first thing she said was "You know, Punzi, you deserve to be happy."
I can only agree with half of what that statement implies.
Contrary to what you may be thinking, that statement implies two things, not one:
1. That I deserve to be happy; and
2. That happiness is defined as having someone (albeit a so-called second time)
Readily, I can believe the first statement because everyone deserves to be happy, not only me.
But I cannot believe that happiness can only be defined as having someone.
Don't get me wrong. This may be the formula for happiness for other people. But I refuse to believe that this is the only measure for happiness.
So what is happiness, for me?
Of course, I don't know that for sure.
But I refuse believe it is just having someone, no matter how great the relationship is. In the first place, it's not constant or permanent. It's a journey with highs and lows, a bumpy road filled with potholes, rocks, cracks, hanging over the cliff on either side. It's a balancing act, with a hairline tightrope.
I also believe that I cannot return to that life anymore. And even if I can, I think I don't want to go on that journey again. I've seen what it has done to other people. More importantly, I've been there. I've done that. The costs far outweigh the benefits.
So why not a happiness defined as a dedicated life of service to others and/or to God?
That's equally fulfilling.
What about a fulfilling professional career and family life at the same time? What about a life surrounded by dear family and friends?
That may be the happiness for me.
What about contentment and peace of mind?
I think these are more the brand of happiness for me than what my friend was referring to.
Of course, that's just me. Feel free to disagree.
transcription by Punzi @ 4:28 AM
2 Objection(s):
Your definition of "happiness" is the more correct meaning of the statement. I would venture to say that crass commercialism (lol ;) )of romance has led to the meaning of "happiness" being distorted in such manner :)
i think happiness must not be confined with the stereotype meaning as 'having a partner'. it has a deeper meaning for me. and one can have it either way he feels it. i am glad you can define your true happiness.
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