Thursday, April 19, 2007
This day in history from:

What Marriage?

Got this from my inbox:

1. Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence).

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her masters.

4. Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBORS listen.

6. Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

10. Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

15. Confucius says: man who sinks into woman's arm soon have arms in woman's sink.

16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

17. Eighty percent of married man cheat in America,the rest cheat in Europe.

18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.

21. I married Miss right, I just didn't know her first name was Always.

22. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.

23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL, MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, AND THEN I LOST IT ALL. WHAT HAPPENED? asked his friend. MY WIFE FOUND OUT

25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.

26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I AM, I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.

27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.

28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.

30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.

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PRAYER FOR GENEROSITY
Lord Jesus,
Teach me to be generous,
Teach me to serve You as You deserve
To give and not to count the cost,
To fight and not to heed the wounds,
To toil and not to seek for rest,
To labor and not to ask for reward,
except that of knowing
That I do Your Holy Will. Amen

THE LAWYER'S PRAYER
May every word I speak be from Your Truth...
I ask come from Your Wisdom...
May every case I handle receive Your Guidance...
May every heart, every life I touch, feel Your Love.

THE JABEZ PRAYER
And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying,
"Oh, that You would bless me indeed,
and enlarge my territory,
that Your Hand be with me,
that You would keep me from evil,
that I may not cause pain."

So God granted him what he requested.

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The Lawyer's Oath
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the Republic of the Philippines,
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and obey the laws as well as
the legal orders of the
duly constituted authorities therein;
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nor consent to the doing of any in court;
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nor give aid nor consent to the same;
I will delay no man for money or malice,
and will conduct myself as a lawyer
according to the best of my knowledge
and discretion with all good fidelity
as well to the courts as to my clients;
and I impose upon myself this voluntary obligation
without any mental reservation
or purpose of evasion.
So help me God.

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